Wordless Wednesday
http://bluemomma2u.com/2009/11/wordless-wednesday.html
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Letters in the Style of That Chick
Dear Blue Momma,
Quit whining like a little bitch because your mouth hurts. You are the one who didn't put your retainer in for over a week. Put on your big girl panties and deal.
Sincerely,
Yourself
PS. Forget that big girl panty stuff. I realize that is all you own anyway.
Dear Stupid Old Bitch Who Shouldn't Have A Drivers License,
Right after you look to your right before pulling out into the street? It would be really smart if you also looked to your left. I know I don't drive a big, humongous SUV, but I'll still fuck you up if I run into you. Plus if you make me wreck with my baby in the car and you do manage to survive? I'll kill you with my bare hands shortly thereafter.
Love,
Heifer You Tried To Run Into This Morning
Dear Everyone,
Life is too short. Give peace a chance and shit like that.
Most sincerely,
Mellow Momma
Dearest Tabby,
I love you as much as a girl can love a cat. You rock my world. However, it is really hard for me to type with a 15 pound cat laying on my wrist. Please move and while you are up go tell Pretty Girl to clean her ass. It is looking pretty ripe.
XOXO,
Your Mom
My Sweet Girl,
I love you more than salsa and chips. Your little smile makes me melt and forget that I haven't slept a whole night in a bed for the past five months. I don't even mind when your diapers singe my nose hairs and make my toes turn inside out.
Oh, yeah. And when you chew on your toes? It may just be the cutest thing I've seen.
I Love You,
The Luckiest Momma on Earth
My Sweet Boy,
You make your Momma so proud. The only thing that would make me prouder would be if you'd put your dirty clothes in the laundry room when you take them off.
Love you bunches,
Your Momma
PS. If you could actually deposit the pee IN the toilet vs. all around it? That would be way cool, too. XOXO
Quit whining like a little bitch because your mouth hurts. You are the one who didn't put your retainer in for over a week. Put on your big girl panties and deal.
Sincerely,
Yourself
PS. Forget that big girl panty stuff. I realize that is all you own anyway.
Dear Stupid Old Bitch Who Shouldn't Have A Drivers License,
Right after you look to your right before pulling out into the street? It would be really smart if you also looked to your left. I know I don't drive a big, humongous SUV, but I'll still fuck you up if I run into you. Plus if you make me wreck with my baby in the car and you do manage to survive? I'll kill you with my bare hands shortly thereafter.
Love,
Heifer You Tried To Run Into This Morning
Dear Everyone,
Life is too short. Give peace a chance and shit like that.
Most sincerely,
Mellow Momma
Dearest Tabby,
I love you as much as a girl can love a cat. You rock my world. However, it is really hard for me to type with a 15 pound cat laying on my wrist. Please move and while you are up go tell Pretty Girl to clean her ass. It is looking pretty ripe.
XOXO,
Your Mom
My Sweet Girl,
I love you more than salsa and chips. Your little smile makes me melt and forget that I haven't slept a whole night in a bed for the past five months. I don't even mind when your diapers singe my nose hairs and make my toes turn inside out.
Oh, yeah. And when you chew on your toes? It may just be the cutest thing I've seen.
I Love You,
The Luckiest Momma on Earth
My Sweet Boy,
You make your Momma so proud. The only thing that would make me prouder would be if you'd put your dirty clothes in the laundry room when you take them off.
Love you bunches,
Your Momma
PS. If you could actually deposit the pee IN the toilet vs. all around it? That would be way cool, too. XOXO
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Things that are pissing me off today
- Fucking trains that block traffic for a damn HOUR piss me off. Move that shit, people! I've worked in manufacturing and if you are a responsible company you make sure that when you switch you do NOT inconvenience everyone around you while you do your work.
- Seton Pharmacy. If you have changed your procedures how about sharing that with your customers? Don't be a bitch with me because you have changed your hours/numbers/location. Fuckers. I hate having to use the employee pharmacy at hubby's job. HATE.
- MawMaw and PawPaw need to stay the hell at home until school and work traffic is over. Stay home and take your geritol and drink your coffee with the soggy biscuit in it and stay out of my way.
- Not having my happy pills for a week because I can't get through to the damn fucked up employee pharmacy. Can you tell I haven't had that "edge" taken off? Hmmm...
- The weather sucks major ass today. I have a playgroup at my house tomorrow. Guess we'll stay inside or agree to let the kids run around with wet, muddy feet and asses. Fuckity, fuck, fuck.
- Can't find my keys. Used the spare set, planning to use the key we keep in the garage to get in the house. That key? MIA. Hubby? Blamed it on the kid!!! Like he can reach six foot up in the air to find the thing. Fucker. Accept responsibility for losing the key and move on before you get de-balled.
- I have a headache. It hurts. Waaaaa. I also have a hair appointment in thirty minutes and no baby sitter. Chances of the girl sleeping through it? Slim, since she is sleeping now.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Things I've Learned from my Four Year Old
Punkin has become quite the little man lately. He's still cute and sweet - most of the time - and loves to snuggle with his mama, but then he will also tell it like it is. Well, like it is in his world, which exists in some strange land ruled by preschoolers.
Just recently he has:
- told me that he only likes to talk to nice people, so would I please quit talking to him
- after being dumped by his girlfriend, he said "Maybe she'll change her mind when she grows up"
- told hubby to "Please stop talking! I just don't want to hear it."
- said that he likes it when I type on my computer because when I do we don't have to clean up
- was pissed off that he didn't get to eat dinner with my friend's husband or to play with her little girl after we delivered food to another friend who'd just had a baby. This had been our plan the week before and I hadn't mentioned it since.
- suggested that I get a job in the evenings so that he could see daddy more often, but then decided since he loved me I could go ahead and stay home
- taken exception to the fact that I said he was a girl because his fingernails had gotten long, he dropped his pants, pointed to his package and said "I have a wingding. I'm a boy!"
- argued with me over the identity of Chloe on Smallville (she was impersonated last week, but was herself this week - he had a problem with this for some reason)
- reminded me that he will change diapers when Orange Juice gets here, but only wet ones because he does not like poop
- told me that I was the best mommy ever and that he loved me sooooo much
- asked why I hid behind the pillow in the pictures from bunco (because I make shitty pictures). He said for me to please take more pictures because he loved me.
- asked why I wear makeup because he liked me better without it
He's becoming quite the little man. Such a talker, so opinionated, so sure of his little four year old self. I see lots of hair pulling and headaches ahead, but I am so proud of him. I love his spunk and his determination and I love how alike we are. I love that he is sooooo excited about his new baby sister's arrival and I can't wait to see his face when he first lays eyes on her. I will even gladly have my picture made with them (yes, bunco bitches, I said gladly!). Today we turned off the tv and the computer and just sat in the rocking chair, read books and talked. It was so nice.
Life? Despite my bitching? It is good.
And the laundry is ALL done. Who could ask for more?
Just recently he has:
- told me that he only likes to talk to nice people, so would I please quit talking to him
- after being dumped by his girlfriend, he said "Maybe she'll change her mind when she grows up"
- told hubby to "Please stop talking! I just don't want to hear it."
- said that he likes it when I type on my computer because when I do we don't have to clean up
- was pissed off that he didn't get to eat dinner with my friend's husband or to play with her little girl after we delivered food to another friend who'd just had a baby. This had been our plan the week before and I hadn't mentioned it since.
- suggested that I get a job in the evenings so that he could see daddy more often, but then decided since he loved me I could go ahead and stay home
- taken exception to the fact that I said he was a girl because his fingernails had gotten long, he dropped his pants, pointed to his package and said "I have a wingding. I'm a boy!"
- argued with me over the identity of Chloe on Smallville (she was impersonated last week, but was herself this week - he had a problem with this for some reason)
- reminded me that he will change diapers when Orange Juice gets here, but only wet ones because he does not like poop
- told me that I was the best mommy ever and that he loved me sooooo much
- asked why I hid behind the pillow in the pictures from bunco (because I make shitty pictures). He said for me to please take more pictures because he loved me.
- asked why I wear makeup because he liked me better without it
He's becoming quite the little man. Such a talker, so opinionated, so sure of his little four year old self. I see lots of hair pulling and headaches ahead, but I am so proud of him. I love his spunk and his determination and I love how alike we are. I love that he is sooooo excited about his new baby sister's arrival and I can't wait to see his face when he first lays eyes on her. I will even gladly have my picture made with them (yes, bunco bitches, I said gladly!). Today we turned off the tv and the computer and just sat in the rocking chair, read books and talked. It was so nice.
Life? Despite my bitching? It is good.
And the laundry is ALL done. Who could ask for more?
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Update
Hello to all three people who still read this blog!!
It's late and I need to go to bed, but wanted to give a quick update on things in the Blue household. Hopefully bullets will do because it's late and it's all I've got!
It's late and I need to go to bed, but wanted to give a quick update on things in the Blue household. Hopefully bullets will do because it's late and it's all I've got!
- I'm feeling great. I wasn't losing my mind after all, my iron was just terribly low and it was making me feel insane! I feel like my old self - happy pills or not - and I'm glad to be back. Who would think a little bit of iron could make such a difference in ones physical and mental health?
- I only have 11 weeks left until little Orange Juice arrives. The time is slowly sneaking up on me and I am NOT prepared. These next few weeks will be busy, busy, busy. I sure am glad I'm feeling good again or I would be totally screwed - well, more than I am now!
- I've decided to withdraw from school for this semester. Being that I've been in a virtual fog for the past couple of months and have neglected everything, I have a lot to make up for. These next couple of months will be all about Punkin and Hubby and getting ready for Orange Juice to arrive. School is a priority, but definitely well below them - and myself - on my list.
- Found out Punkin was playing doctor with a friend. Shouldn't they wait until they are at least in elementary school before starting that shit? As I've said many times before, his teenage years are going to be verrrrrry interesting.
- I'm really bothered that Punkin's first love has decided to "live up in a tower" since she still loves him and he is going to marry someone else. Being a preschooler should not have to be so complicated!! :)
- Just because I talk to you doesn't mean I like you and just because I don't talk to you doesn't mean I don't like you. I've said that before and it is true, at least for me and how I operate. It is more thought provoking when I realize that it also applies to how others interact with me. Everything/everyone cannot be taken at face value. This isn't New England. ;-)
- People come in and out of your life for a reason. Sometimes you don't appreciate the person, the timing, the circumstances - whatever - of their entrance/exit, but I think most of the time, after the hard part is over, it is for the best for all involved. It is hard to move on sometimes, but it is what is needed.
- Damn if this feeling better hasn't gotten me all introspective and doesn't have me evaluating/re-evaluating lots of things/plans/people in my life. I think this is good - and it is nice to have a clear head again and to be able to do it!
- The oh so erudite K-Mom once said on her blog: "Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option." I realize the past few months I've not followed this and I plan on prioritizing things correctly from now on! I think I tend to think about how I am getting treated and sometimes forget about the other person. That's not cool. Of course, if I'm not a priority for them? Well, that is dead weight I need to cut off...and I need to lose all the weight I can!!! ha
- Weight. I've gained more weight so far in this pregnancy than I gained the whole time with Punkin. Fuckity, fuck, fuck. I totally blame it on the iron deficiency and the diabetes and not on, in any particular order: Little Caesar's breadsticks, Sabra Supremely Spicy Hummus and whole wheat pita pockets, Taco Bell anything, Sabor Latino chips and salsa0, etc, etc. Totally the other shit. Totally
- We went to visit a friend today and her daughter met us at the door and told us "not to get on her nuts today". hehehehehehehe We did our best to stay off of her nerves. I hope we were successful. Of course she did perform that exam on my kid, so...
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Blah, Blah, Blah
Do you ever just feel blah? Nothing is really wrong, you just feel blah.
I feel blah.
School is ok. My classes are ok. There is work to be done, of course, but it isn't terribly hard.
Hubby has been on good behavior, as has Punkin. Well, good as you get from a four year old!!
The pregnancy is going spectacularly well, even better than the first one. Couldn't ask for better.
Still.
Blah. Blah. Blah.
I miss my happy pills. They helped take away the blahs. I feel inappropriately happy, then inappropriately sad. Neither to extreme, but neither really appropriate. Or maybe it is appropriate. Who knows. Maybe the happy pills just made everything artificially wonderful and this is just reality.
Or it could be that after watching Jurassic Park 1, 2, & 3 approximately 4,497,464 times over the past two weeks that I'm just suppressing the feeling that I will soon be eaten by a velociraptor.
I feel blah.
School is ok. My classes are ok. There is work to be done, of course, but it isn't terribly hard.
Hubby has been on good behavior, as has Punkin. Well, good as you get from a four year old!!
The pregnancy is going spectacularly well, even better than the first one. Couldn't ask for better.
Still.
Blah. Blah. Blah.
I miss my happy pills. They helped take away the blahs. I feel inappropriately happy, then inappropriately sad. Neither to extreme, but neither really appropriate. Or maybe it is appropriate. Who knows. Maybe the happy pills just made everything artificially wonderful and this is just reality.
Or it could be that after watching Jurassic Park 1, 2, & 3 approximately 4,497,464 times over the past two weeks that I'm just suppressing the feeling that I will soon be eaten by a velociraptor.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Again
Why am I sitting here, again, watching country music videos and tearing up?
Maybe I should dig out those old Motley Crue and Ozzy vhs tapes from the old days and man up a bit. I may even have a four sizes too small concert tee stuck in a box somewhere....
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